i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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