Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
