If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
