What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
