My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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