I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
