oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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