we're blogging at a bar
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
