seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
