Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize