i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
