I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
