hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
