Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize