I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
