We won't sleep together?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
