Quick, to the slutcave!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am one with the molecules
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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