you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
