So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i believe in u and ur pee
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize