That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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