Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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