i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
