Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
