I think I died a long time ago.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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