I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
