You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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