Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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