I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
