you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
