Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
