It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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