"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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