those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
