Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
