1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
