Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
