it's too hot outside to masturbate.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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