the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
