you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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