Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
