I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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