So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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