You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
