R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
