sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
