Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
