ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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