well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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