I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
