he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
