yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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