found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize