a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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