i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
