His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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