Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
