Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize