You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
