my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
