I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
